Coming Back to Yourself

Earlier this week, my morning walk reminded me how quickly life can recruit us into Protector Mode.

Ten steps out my front door, a cat darted across the end of the driveway about 200 feet away. Baldur, my standard poodle, wasn't yet on his leash.

His instincts took over.

In an instant he was gone.

The cat found refuge in a tree near the road while Baldur circled below, determined to find it. Normally this wouldn't have been much of a concern. But today was July 5. Visitors had filled our usually quiet dead end gravel road.

As Baldur widened his search, he reached the roadway just as a truck came barreling toward him.

For a split second, dog and metal were only inches apart.

My heart immediately joined the chase.

After a lot of shouting, I finally grabbed his collar. Just then another truck approached. Now I was standing in the middle of the road, holding onto a very activated dog, doing my best to slow the truck, and noticing that I, too, had become activated.

Eventually we continued, Baldur finally leashed and both of us beginning to settle.

Or so I thought.

Two houses later we passed neighbors saying goodbye to holiday guests. Without warning, two large unleashed dogs came charging toward us, barking aggressively.

Again, my nervous system surged.

Again, protection took over.

By now, our peaceful morning walk felt anything but peaceful.

And all the while, through my headphones, Deepak Chopra was talking about the Higher Self.

He spoke about the witness.

The quiet awareness that observes experience without becoming consumed by it.

The part of us that is not our thoughts, not our bodies, not even our circumstances.

As I listened, I noticed something beginning to shift.

Not long ago, I would have spent the rest of the walk replaying what had happened, judging the drivers, criticizing the neighbors, defending my reactions, imagining what could have happened, and carrying the adrenaline long after the danger had passed.

Instead, the practice interrupted the pattern.

Listening to the invitation to return to the witness changed my relationship to what had happened.

My attention stopped circling the story and began resting somewhere deeper.

My breathing slowed.

My body softened.

My nervous system began to settle.

I found myself thinking,

"Well... that was interesting."

And then I kept walking.

Nothing about the morning had changed.

What changed was the place in me from which I was meeting it.

The witness had never left.

Creator Mode doesn't mean we stop becoming activated.

It means we remember ourselves a little sooner and return before the story carries us away.

Perhaps that is what practice offers us.

Not immunity from activation.

Simply a shorter distance between protection and presence.

Today's Remembrance

Progress isn't measured by how often we become activated.

It is measured by how quickly we remember ourselves.

The witness is never absent.

It simply waits for our attention to return.

A Question to Carry

The next time life activates your protectors, what might become possible if, instead of asking, "How do I get out of this feeling?" you paused and asked,

"What would help me come back to myself right now?"

Creator Mode
A return to the home within.

If you'd like to explore Creator Mode further, visit:

Explore Creator Mode → (Creator Mode Series Page)

Listening on the Trail

Higher Self: The Magic of Inner and Outer Fulfillment
by Deepak Chopra